Fox 4 Dallas making kind of a reach here

Smoke Smell Coming from Oklahoma Fires

North Texas Counties under Fire Weather Warnings

Published : Thursday, 24 Mar 2011, 11:40 AM CDT

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  FOX 4 News
  myfoxdfw.com Web Team

Really Fox 4?? Are you sure the smoke smell is coming from local fires?  Wow,  who would have thunk it.  Well hey, this just in too....There's a poop smell coming from the bathroom stall at the local mall.  And there's a fishy smell coming from an area fat girls underpants.  And wait, what's this, there is also a student with a cornrow hair style at Martin Luther King Jr. Middle school??  Holy shit, now I have heard everything.   Thanks Fox 4. 

Cops: Restaurant owner hospitalized by customer unhappy with his bill

By Ashley Rueff TribLocal reporter Today at 8:44 a.m.

The 55-year-old owner of Outriggers in Tinley Park was hospitalized with eight broken ribs and a collapsed lung Friday after an intoxicated customer unhappy with his bill allegedly attacked him Friday night.
Cmdr. Steve Vaccaro said as of Monday afternoon, the man was still believed to be in the hospital. He was first taken to Palos Community Hospital, but later transferred to Christ Hospital because of the severity of his injuries, police said.

You know what pisses me off?  It's being nickle-dicked at restaurants.  So on top of needing to tip 20% to some prissy bitch or gay-boy knob gobbler I also get clipped $1.00 for a side of ranch, .50 cents for a refill, and $.75 cents for a slice of cheese on my sandwich.  $.75 cents for a slice of fucking cheese??  What world are we living in?  I am fed up (pun intended) with this horseshit and glad to see that this "voice of the people" dished out a super-sized beat-down at the local Outriggers last Friday.  Hey Outriggers, you don't want 8 of your riblets cracked and broken, then dish out a free refill here and there.  What's that?? You don't want to breathe from and iron lung anymore?  Then quit stepping on my nuts everytime I ask for cheese on my sammich.  Serves this Mr.Outrigger right that he will spend this week in traction for getting rich off the every man.  My only other wish is that an e-coli outbreak hits this place as well, and when the FDA steps in to investigate they discover it stems from 'The Rib Cracker" dropping an upper tanker in the john on his way out the door.  Justice served.

Ain't this a kick in the Baals?

AP

FORT WAYNE, Ind. -- A new government building in Fort Wayne, Ind., may officially be called Citizens Square, but to some not-so-square citizens it will always be the Harry Baals (bawlz) Government Center.
Fort Wayne Mayor Tom Henry announced the new city and county government center's name Monday.
The most popular choice for the building in an online poll was the "Harry Baals Government Center." The second-place finisher was "Thunder Dome."
The former mayor pronounced his name "balls," although his descendants pronounce their name "bales" (baylz).

Someone call the ACLU, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson or any other petty whiny bitch that fights injustice in exhange for air time because this right here is the height of discrimination.  Ol' Harry Baals here gave 16 long and misshapen years as the Mayor of Fort Wayne and how do they repay him??? They repay him by overturning the peoples vote to name it "The Harry Baals Government Center" and instead go with "Citizens Square" to avoid unneccessary ridicule.  Well listen up Fort Wayne, you unruly ball hating commies, all you have done today is weaken a state and a nation.  Know now what a young "Mike Hunt" will do when it's his time on the hard woods to make the big game winner??? He'll just pass it away in fear of too much ridicule? Think a young and impressionable 'Phil McCracken" will go long with the Hail Mary for the game winner now?  Nope, he'll take a knee because he knows there will be too much ridicule.  Or how about "Sally Asscrammedwithcox", think she will lead that game winning cheer in the state finals? Nope, fear of all that damn ridicule.

This use to be a country that was proud of the effort, proud of the grit and proud of the legacy regardless of the name.  So I now call upon you, Harry Baals, way up there in the loose-hair speckled underpants in the sky... Swing that hairy beanbag loud and proud to help inspire a clean shaven, little balled nation that has clearly lost its way.

Base running Fail!

The Boss summed it up best..."Glory Days, they'll pass you by, Glory Days"  There is not many things more embarrassing than watching a past the prime adult trying to hang tough with the kids.  Case in point is Coach Krispy Kreme here.  Hey Coach,  let's let the kids have their day in the sun.  Because watching you barrel around third only to have your epic face plant caught on film is just a sad, sad display.


p.s. What hurts more....picking gravel out of your grill or listening to your starting infielders giggling there dicks off as the lap your fat ass?

Gay Catholic Priests are at it again!

 http://www.fox8.com/videobeta/791e99ef-cb47-4c56-bfac-8d26fde6b43d/News/Priest-Busted-for-OVI

BRIMFIELD TOWNSHIP, Ohio —
A local priest may need more than the Lord's forgiveness after what police officers say he did Sunday night.
"I sum it up as unusual at best," said Brimfield Township Police Chief David Blough.
It started just after 11:45 p.m. Sunday when officers received a report of a car off the side of the road at the intersection of Meloy and Sandylake roads.
Father Ignatius Kury was laying down in the back seat of the vehicle.
"He was extremely intoxicated," said Chief Blough.
Kury tested three times the legal limit and was taken to the police station for processing. Officers say that's when things really got interesting.
Police rolled a video tape of the incident to protect themselves and use it as evidence in court.
"Because of the fact that one of my officers walked by the holding cell and he was exposing himself," said Chief Blough.
Kury is heard on the tape saying, "I'll give you a sermon on the mount."
According to Chief Blough, the priest's rant lasted over 20 minutes during which he threatened and propositioned officers.
Kury is heard saying, "I'll pay you whatever you want. What do you want? Want me to give you a [expletive]? Is that what you want ?" "Do you want me to be a sexual slave?"

Father Ignatius, you kinky little drunken priest you.  It appears after a long Sunday of sermons and bad touching that the old father decided he needed to blow off alittle steam.  Where he goes to let his habit down at this point we don't know (The Manhole Bar and Grill, Chocolate Starfish Saloon or In through the Out Door Tavern) but we now know what he does after.  Just decides to drunkenly swerve his shit all over our roads and fair cities at 11:45pm.  If you have not watched the attached video it is a must view.  Complete with details of Father Felatio exposing himself, offering to suck cop cock and be there sexual slave in return for a get out of jail free card....
Catholic Father Ignatius, you certainly did play like a champion today...  and after watching the video we now know which team you play for as well. 

JaMarcus "McRib" Russell's Oakland Mansion in Foreclosure

NBC~

The former No. 1 pick of the Oakland Raiders, famous for wearing mink coats and taxing a heavy toll on the team's bench, needs to find a job soon.

Foreclosure proceedings have started on Russell's Oakland mansion, according to TMZ. If the former LSU star can't come up with $195,512.05 in backed mortgage payments in the next three months, his house will be auctioned off.

Russell purchased the house in 2007 for $3 million before he even signed his contract with the Raiders.

The 5,800-square-foot has six bedrooms, six full bathrooms and two half bathrooms, a four-car garage, four fireplaces and bay views.

Russell returned to his native Alabama after being released by the Raiders in 2009. His attempts to return to the NFL have been slowed down by charges that Russell was illegally sipping "purple drank."

The Raiders signed Russell to a six-year contract worth up to $68 million, with $31.5 million guaranteed. But in true Al Davis fashion, the team is trying to recuperate some of that signing bonus.

Are you kidding me here.  On top of being one of the biggest busts since Ryan Leaf, Jamarcus apparently is also broke as shit.  Although he was guaranteed $31 mill, he still managed to keep the mother fucker real and blow the whole nut on purple drank, minks, diamonds and McDonald's.  I see stories like this and my initial reaction is to feel bad for the guy, but then I have to remind myself of what a pompous, arrogant, ignorant and lazy piece of shit that he really is.  Of all the type of shitbags this could have happened to I am glad that it happened to someone like him.

p.s.  Hey JaBrokus, in between your tears and McRibs why don't you go ahead and suck some dick.

It was a close race......

...but Miss Afghanistan pulled it out by a hair.